Black And White Submarine
by NeversideFaerie
Summary: Lydia has received a waterproof camera and is desperate to try it out, so where better than the Neitherworld? Unfortunately, the mystical creatures of the deep are not always harmless and soon BJ finds himself up against some of his greatest fears... Inspired by the Beetlejuice comic "Where The Ghouls Are" and a couple of my drawings.
1. Prologue

Prologue

Beetlejuice had the habit of popping in to see his best friend at inconvenient times and it was understandable why Lydia would ask him to leave if she was about to have a shower or babysit a neighbour. On the other hand, it was rare for him to appear in her bedroom mirror, ready to invite her over to watch The Addams Family again for the millionth time or enter the Neitherworld custard pie throwing championships, only to find she was nowhere to be seen, not just in her bedroom but the whole house. Of course, it wasn't as if he was unable to find her at all when this happened, but today when he showed up disguised as a stripy bat earring (which was actually rather convenient - he could talk directly to Lyds without arousing her parents' suspicions) whilst Lydia was on a car journey, she whispered that "now was not a good time" and he should "call her later".

It had been more than an hour since he'd last seen her now and had got so worked up about it that he'd got his neighbours to come over so he could vent his worries.

"How could she do this to me?" wailed Beetlejuice, floating back and forth in a manner similar to pacing, "Her own best friend! She didn't even tell me where she was going!"

"Maybe she didn't want you to come!" replied Jacques, "You do tend to tread on 'er parents' toes."

BJ looked mischievous. "And their fingers too, if I can get away with it!"

Jacques sighed. "Zat ees not ze point, Be-attlejuice. Perhaps Mees Lydia 'as 'ad enough of your seely pranks and wants to spend some time with 'er parents without you!"

Beej starting floating on his back. "You've gotta be kidding me, Jaq! She knows I'm attached to Delia and old Chucky - especially when I've put super glue on my hands!" He giggled nastily.

"Or maybe she wants to get you a surprise," suggested Ginger, "Ooh...I love surprises!"

"That Miss Lydia is real good to you, Beetlejuice!" added The Monster Across The Street, "Remember the time she got you a MONSTER box of chocolate beetles on your birthday!"

"BIRTHDAY!?" Suddenly Beetlejuice screamed and his head spun round at top speed. "I can't believe it!" He slapped his forehead. "It's Lydia's birthday! I forgot all about it!" He sunk down onto his sofa. "Some friend I am. I haven't even got her anything. She's probably gone out to dinner with her parents - without me!" He buried his face in his hands.

"There iz still time to get 'er a present," urged Jacques, coming up to him.

"Yeah, buy her something real special," said Ginger, who was by his side, "Is there anything she'd really, really like?"

Beej lifted up his head. "But how I am gonna know what she wants?"

"Come on, Beetlejuice!" pressed The Monster Across The Street, "You know her better than any of us! What's the one thing that Lydia loves doin' the most?"

Beej thought about it for a moment and then an idea came to mind.


	2. Chapter 1

Chapter One

Another hour later, Lydia had returned to her room.

"I sure can't wait to tell BJ about my birthday presents!" she thought out loud, placing the bags of them beside her bed, "I only hope he's not thinking he's missing out by not coming to the birthday meal."

She strolled over to her bedroom mirror.

"Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, BEETLEJUICE!"

A second later there was a cry of, "Hey, Babes! Whatcha got here?"

Lydia swivelled round to see her best friend hovering beside her bed, his eyes on the bags of gifts.

"They're the presents I got at my birthday meal. I'm sorry I couldn't invite you, but my parents wanted it to be just the three of us. I guess they didn't want me to have a proper birthday party after what happened LAST YEAR..."

Beej chuckled meanly, floating above her bed on his backside. "You shoulda seen Chucky's face when the candles exploded! That really was a BIRTHDAY SURPRISE!" He was reduced to maniacal laughing.

Lydia placed her hands on her hips. "I'm glad you found it funny, Beetlejuice." She looked stern until her friend had stopped guffawing.

"OK, OK...I guess my party tricks were a little too much for them. Anyway, happy birthday, Lyds." He drifted to her side and pulled a small wrapped box out of his suit jacket.

Lydia's hands flew to her face. "Oh, Beetlejuice! How sweet of you!"

BJ pulled a face. "Sweet?! Yeeeuch! I go to all this trouble to getcha a pressie and you insult me?!"

Lydia laughed, knowing he was only teasing. "I can't wait to see what you've got me." She took the box out of BJ's hands and started to unwrap it, while Beej settled his feet on the ground. As soon as she she'd got the paper off, she removed the lid and gasped.

"Do ya like it, Babes?" BJ looked hopeful.

"An underwater camera! It's exactly what I wanted. How did you ever guess, Beej?" She lifted the violet camera out of the box.

"I just thought of the time we went bog-snorkelling and how you were pretty miffed that ya couldn't take pictures of me under the water." (It was obviously very dirty water - not as dirty as Beej would have liked, but he had to make some allowances for Lydia.)

"Thank you so much, Beetlejuice." Lydia wrapped her arms around him in a loving embrace, which he soon began to reciprocate. She let go of him to reach into one of her bags and pull out several of her gifts, which included a wetsuit, mask, snorkel and flippers. "My parents bought me some diving gear for when we go on vacation to the beach soon. Now I'll actually have something to use it for!"

Lydia thought about when she would tell them about her new camera and how, when they asked where she got it, she would simply say it came from "a friend".

She held up her new wetsuit for BJ to see. It was black with long dark purple sleeves and a zip down the front. Her mask, snorkel and flippers were also various shades of purple, suggesting that Charles and Delia weren't as oblivious to Lydia's preferences as they seemed.

"Looks like you're really going to TAKE THE PLUNGE!" Beej was then stood upon a diving board, wearing a black and white striped one-piece swimsuit, a mint green swimming cap and aquamarine goggles. He sprang off the board and there was a "SPLASH!" when he landed in the alleged water, making Lydia chuckle.

"It's a shame I know you won't come diving with me," Lydia remarked, folding up her wetsuit, "It would be nice if I could have a friend to explore under the sea with."

"Are you kidding me?" replied Beej, who was now back in his regular suit, "That peat bog was about as clean as I could take! You could ask Prince Vince - he's as WET as anything!"

Lyds rolled her eyes at his bad joke and was about to put her diving equipment away before suddenly she had a thought. "Wouldn't it be great if I could go somewhere with actual fish to take photographs of, like the Great Barrier Reef? I don't think they'll be any where I'm going on vacation."

"Great Barrier Reef? PAH! There are lots of fish in the Neitherworld. I could take you there, Babes! Though I'd much rather visit the beetle farms." He licked his lips noisily. "Freshly grown beetles - you know I love 'em!"

"...but then I wouldn't be able to use my new underwater camera. I don't know why I didn't think of it before! The Neitherworld is the perfect place to test it out."

"On one condition - I don't have to get in the water."

"It's a deal! I'm counting on you, BJ."

"Say those magic B-words and I'll take you on a voyage you'll never forget!"

Lydia strung her camera around her neck and scooped up her diving gear. "Beetlejuice! Beetlejuice! Beetlejuice!"


	3. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

The next thing they knew, Lydia and Beetlejuice were stood on a Neitherworld beach, in front of them the familiar sight of purple sand and slimy green water; tyres, bottles, tins and even a sofa bobbing in the waves. A short distance away, a bikini-clad blue zombie chick was sunbathing and the sappy-faced ghouls were playing volleyball with a skull, which belonged to a stumbling skeleton, who was trying to see where he was going with little success.

"Are you sure they'll be any fish out there?" queried Lydia, now wearing her spiderweb poncho, "The water doesn't look exactly clean."

As she said this, a metal container floated past, trailing leaked oil. Her heart went out to any marine life that was unfortunate enough to live in the surrounding waters. She wondered if there was any way she could help them whilst on her deep sea adventure.

"Nah - only the ones who wear breathers," responded Beej.

Lydia felt a pang of shock when she saw a poorly-looking fish swimming past, wearing a gas mask. She gasped when she heard him cough.

"Beetlejuice, we've got to do something! We can't just leave them like that!"

"It's no big deal! There's only one fish in troubled water. It's not like there's a whole school of them."

No sooner had he said that, the slime bubbled a little and at least a dozen fish popped their heads, one of them wearing a mortar board and the rest old-fashioned schoolboy caps, but all of them also had gas masks.

BJ's conscience was slightly pricked and for a second he even looked sympathetic, but he shrugged it off.

"Come on, Lyds! We gotta prepare for our big adventure."

"Don't you care about them, Beej?" Lydia rebuked. "Would you like to live in a polluted ocean?"

"I guess, but a mud pool would be even better!"

"BEETLEJUICE!"

"What did I say?!" BJ looked shocked.

Lydia pointed at the water, her eyes on him in a expression that warned him she wasn't to be trifled with. "I want you to use your magic to help those fish - NOW."

Beej turned to look at the ocean again and his face fell again as he saw the fishes' condition. "Sure thing."

He cast a stream of magic at the sea and within two seconds it had been transformed into a paradise, with clean water and not even the smallest amount of rubbish. The fish flung off their masks and in unison cheered, "Hooray! Hooray for Beetlejuice!", some of them leaping for joy, attracting the attention of the sappy-faced ghouls, two of whom paused in their volleyball game, oblivious to the skull being tossed through the air. It landed beside the bewildered skeleton, who picked it up and fixed it on, allowing him to see the drastic change the sea had gone through since he was last wearing it.

"Thanks, Beetlejuice," Lydia said appreciatively, putting an arm on his shoulder.

"Aw shucks, Babes! You know I'd do anything for ya."

Then the school of fish started waving their flippers and each chirping, "Goodbye!" before swimming off into the now beautifully clean ocean. Lydia let go of BJ and waved back, but looked a little disappointed.

"It's a shame I didn't get to photograph them. They all looked so happy after you cleaned up their home."

"No need to WATER your cheeks! There's plenty more fish in the sea - and we're going to find them!" He snickered to himself. "Fishy puns - you know I love 'em!"

He then pointed at the sea and ZAP! before Lydia's very eyes appeared an egg-shaped submarine, just big enough for the pair of them, decorated with thick black and white stripes. It had two portholes, each with dark pink rims, and a large window at the front, inside of which you could see the steering wheel resting on the helm. There was also a periscope at the top and a large propeller at the back.

"Deadly-vu! It looks amazing, Beetlejuice! I'll go get changed into my diving gear and we can really get going on our undersea voyage." She took another glance at her equipment and picked out her snorkel. "You wouldn't mind turning this into a scuba tank, would you BJ?"

Beetlejuice magicked himself a genie costume. "Your wish is my command!" He enthusiastically gestured to the diving outfit and all of a sudden she was wearing it, complete with an oxygen tank connected to a regulator, which was in her mouth.

Lydia tried to say something to him but all he heard was muffled gobbledegook.

"What did you say, Lyds?"

Lydia removed the mouthpiece. "You've been hanging out with the Mask again, haven't you, Beej?"

"Old Green-Face - you gotta love his style!" He then changed his outfit to that of a skipper with a blue jacket over a white woolen turtleneck sweater and a black yacht cap bearing a golden beetle insignia. "All aboard the black and white submarine!"

"Aye aye, Captain Beetlejuice," responded Lydia with a salute.

They boarded the vessel and inside it was a lot bigger than she'd expected. The walls were grey and clearly made of painted metal, and the control panel was very modern with several screens and meters alongside the main steering wheel. In the middle of the room was a closed hatch that she worked out would be what she'd use to enter the water when they were deep under the ocean.

She moved the mask from her eyes to above her fringe. "Where are we heading, Skipper?" she asked, "I hope it's not the Bermuda Shorts Triangle. We've already had enough adventures there."

"No worries! I'm taking you to the Twilight Zone."

"The Twilight Zone? That definitely sounds like my sort of thing."

"They'll be plenty of fish for you to photograph there, kiddo! Maybe gulper eels..." He turned into an eel and gave an exaggerated gulp. "Or angler fish..." He then became an ugly-looking sea creature with needle-sharp teeth and a bony growth jutting out of its forehead, holding a fishing rod. "Or maybe even a kraken!"

"Do they actually have those in the Neitherworld?"

"Here and there. Never seen one myself though."

"Well, I'm ready to 'dive' into action. What about you, BJ?"

He sat himself on the helm's seat. "Then let's..." He paused for effect, hitting one of the controls.

The submarine then plunged beneath the waves, heading in a direction of the Twilight Zone.

"DIVE, DIVE, DIVE!" Beetlejuice and Lydia chorused.


	4. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

The deeper the submarine dove, the more Lydia was intrigued by the numbers of fish that appeared before their window. Being from the Neitherworld, they were brightly coloured and had all sorts of wacky appearances, obviously puns just waiting to be said aloud. Meanwhile, BJ had left the ship in auto-pilot and was looking through the viewer of the periscope, which was found in the middle of the room.

"What can you see, Captain?" asked Lydia, who was stood beside him.

"There goes a mudskipper!" In his binocular-shaped view he could see a bug-eyed brown speckled fish using a skipping rope. "And there's a lemon shark." He caught sight of a shark drifting past with pictures of lemons on its side. "And a decorator crab." He then saw an orange crab wearing a hard hat and carrying a paint pot, a roller, a brush and a couple of wallpaper rolls.

"Are we in the Twilight Zone yet? That doesn't sound very spooky to me."

"Not yet - we're still in the Daylight Zone."

Lydia wandered over to the console and looked out of the front window. She then caught sight of a brown and beige striped octopus floating in front of her. Suddenly, the creature's head changed shape and two seconds later had a black curly ponytail exactly like her own, which made her laugh.

"Hey, it's a mimic octopus!" said BJ, drifting over in mid-air.

The octopus then noticed him and straight away his hairstyle transformed into Beetlejuice's overgrown blonde mop.

"OI! That's my trick!" he snarled crossly at the animal, which swam away unfazed.

The water then began to get slightly darker and before long Lydia spotted a large sign that said, "You have now crossed over into...The Twilight Zone. (660 ft)"

"It looks like we're here," she remarked, on the lookout for any more sea life, "I'm going to start my dive." She slipped her mask down onto her face, took hold of her camera (which was hanging around her neck) and placed the regulator in her mouth. "Mmmmmn mmn mmmn," she instructed BJ.

"Pardon?" responded Beetlejuice.

"Mmmmmmn! Mmmmn mmmmn mmn!" Lydia pointed in the direction of the hatch.

"You want me to open the hatch? Why didn't you say?"

Beej drifted over to it whilst Lydia went "Mmmmmn..." in amused exasperation, clapping a hand over her goggles.

BJ turned the handle and flipped open the hatch, allowing Lyds a peek into the dark blue water just waiting for her to dive into. She jumped straight in, creating a brief fountain of water and a satisfactory "splash!"

Beej leaned over the hole to keep an eye on her. "Fished out anything you like yet, Babes?"

Meanwhile, not far below him, Lydia was adjusting to her surroundings. Since the water was fairly dark, it was pretty difficult to discern any creatures nearby - assuming, that was, there were some nearby. Not only was the water dark, but pretty cold - much colder than the sea at the beach on a cloudy day. It was about the same temperature as a snow-free winter's day in Peaceful Pines, only instead of being snuggled up in a hooded purple cloak and matching mittens, she was wearing just a summer wetsuit, her hands and feet exposed to the freezing water. She began shivering and wrapped her arms around her chest to conserve heat, her skin gradually turning icy blue. I can't believe I didn't think how cold it would be, she thought.

"You OK, Lyds?" asked a concerned BJ, "You're looking kind of blue."

Lydia couldn't reply because of the regulator and her teeth were also having difficulties chattering. She was just concluding that she really ought to swim back to the hole and climb back inside when suddenly she caught sight of something drifting towards her. With a shaking hand she reached for her camera, ready to snap a picture of whatever it was when it got near enough.

Meanwhile, Beej was watching through one of the portholes and could soon make out a red, wobbly creature with flimsy tentacles. "There goes a jelly-fish!" he called.

No sooner had Lydia taken a photo of it then did a spiky fish with a body that resembled a brightly coloured train appear beside her. There was even a plume of smoke billowing out of its funnel. "And a puffer fish," continued Beetlejuice, as Lydia proceeded to photograph it.

Then there was a fish wearing earphones that was inside a plane. "And a pilot fish." Next, there was what seemed to be a lace-up boot with a tail and a face and a blade at the bottom. "An arctic skate - you can see he's really geared up for the cold weather!" The skate then proceeded to pirouette across a sheet of ice. BJ then pointed to a brown, zombie-like, cigar-shaped shark with viscious-looking teeth and - in contrast - a heart-shaped biscuit cutter on its side. "And that's a cookie cutter shark."

Lydia tried to giggle, as she would normally when Beetlejuice said something ticklish, but it was a bit difficult, so she just mimed doing so, before remembering how cold it was and shivering again. I have to get back to the submarine before I turn into a human popsicle! she thought, swimming upwards in the direction of the hatch, through which she could now see Beej waiting beside.

Lyds had almost made it to the hole, when all of a sudden she felt something slimy wrap itself around her. "MMMMMNN!" she shrieked, looking down to see what had grabbed her. Below her was an enormous green creature with eight tentacles extending from its body, upon which it had a face that no doubt bore an expression of threat.

Lydia wasn't the only one panicking either. From the safety of the submarine, BJ took one look at the massive octopus and gasped. "It's...it's..." His mouth could barely form the words. "A KRAKEN! AAAARRRGH!" His head spun round at exceptional speed.

Once he'd finished screaming, he bravely looked again and saw his best friend held firmly in one of the monster's limbs. "He's got Lydia!" He rolled up his sleeves. "Don't worry, Babes! I'm coming for ya!"

He tried to come up with a desperate plan on the spot, before realising one big obstacle. "Oh no..." he thought out loud, "Helping Lyds would mean going in the...water!"


	5. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

Back under the water, Lydia thrashed, wriggled and kicked, desperate to escape the cryptid's oozy grasp, but despite his tentacles being slippery, they were still strong and she concluded that the only way to escape was to use a weapon against it - which of course she didn't have. The kraken dragged her away from the submarine rather quickly and she could soon make out through the darkness the sea bed not far below her. She looked to see where her captor was heading and spotted a large, shadowy cave looming up ahead - no doubt it's lair.

 _So this is where the kraken has been hiding all this time,_ she thought. Or was "have" a better word? For all she knew, a whole family of slimy monsters could be lurking inside the cavern, waiting to devour her. _I only hope Beetlejuice turns up soon or I'm going to end up an octopus' dinner._

Back in the submarine, BJ was watching her through the hatch, biting his nails in horror. "I can't bear it any longer!" he shrieked all of a sudden, rising up in the air, "I'm gonna have to go after her." He flew over to the controls and piloted the vessel in the direction of the kraken.

Lydia saw what he was doing and started crying, "Mmmmnn! Mmmmmnn!"

"I'll save you, Lyds," Beej said to himself, leaving the craft on auto-pilot, still tailing the mollusk, "Even if it means being...clean!" He sucked his in breath in almost a shriek, before putting on the bravest face he could muster and stomping over to the hole. "Nobody hurts my babes and gets away with it!"

He magicked himself the one-piece striped swimsuit and swimming cap from earlier, as well as a scuba tank, mask, regulator and flippers, with a pair of armbands for good measure. Even though he knew Lydia was in trouble, he still hesitated for a few seconds, gazing at the dark hole in front of him.

"I can't do this!" he eventually cried, spitting out the regulator, "Even if I didn't have to go in the w-w-water, I'm no olympic swimmer - how am I going to rescue Lyds?!"

At the same time, Lydia had managed to grab onto a cleft on the floor of the cave and her struggle had turned into a tug of war, with her trying to wriggle free of the Kraken's grasp while the monster just pulled harder, gradually prising her hands from the rockface. She tried to think of something she could use against it? A weapon? A distraction? What did she have on her? She considered using the flash on her camera, but that probably wouldn't work - it wasn't strong enough. What about her flippers? She didn't fancy trying to beat up a giant octopus with just a bit of plastic. Could she use her oxygen tank? Her regulator? Wait a second...

Preparing herself to act fast, she let go of the crack. She and the creature were thrust backwards from the tension and, quick as a flash, she popped out her mouthpiece and shook it wildly. Bubbles rocketed out of the device, exploding into the Kraken's face, making it squeal in surprise. In the confusion, it loosened its grip and, quick as a flash, Lydia slipped out and started swimming for dear life. She had just finished inserting the regulator back in her mouth as she heard the angry gurgle of the beast behind her.

Suddenly, something grabbed her feet. "MMMNN!" she shrieked, feeling the Kraken's cool suckers on her ankles, yanking her backwards. She pulled in the opposite direction and kicked with her flippers, trying to whack the offending tentacle into the middle of next week. Buying herself time, she took out her mouthpiece again and aimed the stream of bubbles at where she hoped the monster's head was. There was a growl of frustration, but the tentacle held her just as firm. She had to admit, this creature was clever. It hadn't fallen for the same trick a second time.

In that case, what could she do now? Her secret weapon was no longer working and she'd lost sight of the submarine. Was there anything else she could do? Not having a chance to properly think, she placed the regulator back in her mouth, took a deep breath and fingered the one thing she could possibly use against the Kraken - her camera.

Back on board the submarine, a swimsuit clad Beetlejuice was staring into the dark waters, keeping an eye out for his best friend, and hurriedly trying to come up with a plan of what he could possibly do. Could he pull her in with a rope? He could quickly magic one up, but first he'd need to know where she was. What if he rounded up all the fish and asked them to attack the Kraken? It was a rather exciting idea, but would it actually work? What if he conjured a giant bubble that he could travel inside, without getting wet? Then there'd be the difficulty of freeing her from the tentacle without bursting the bubble. He had to come up with something quickly, before he ran out of options.

Lydia was shivering horribly and her hands were nearly numb with cold, which made handling the camera rather tricky. Even so, she managed to switch it on and check the flash was working, before twisting her torso just at the right moment to take several snapshots of the Kraken. It was stunned from the bright light, if only for a few seconds, but that was all the time she needed.

Without a second thought, she slipped free of her slimy shackles and swam as fast as she could, constantly aware that her energy was drained from all the fighting, and also that the enraged monster was pursuing her once more. _You can do this, Lydia!_ she told herself, _Once you make it out of the cave, you can swim back to the submarine and tell Beetlejuice we need to get the heck out of here!_

At the same time, considering how much quicker the Kraken was than an exhausted teenage diver, she had a feeling she wasn't going to make it to the mouth of the cavern in time...

All the while, BJ was continuing to rack his brain. What if he magicked a robotic hand on the side of the submarine? Could he use that to grab Lydia if he managed to get inside the cave? Could the submarine even fit through the cave entrance? Octopi had an extraordinary talent for being able to squeeze inside all sorts of small spaces.

It was then he caught sight of some movement in the cave. "Lyds? Is that you?" He magicked himself a pair of night vision goggles. Sure enough, Lydia was swimming out of the cave, barely able to muster enough energy to keep herself going. BJ's tender heartstrings were tugged and he wondered how much longer she could go on for. Behind her loomed the massive figure of the Kraken, its eyes burning with anger.

"NO!" Beej cried, casting off his night goggles, "I've got to do something! Can't I juice us a way outta here or..." Suddenly, an idea struck him; more specifically in the form of a lightning bolt. "Ow!" BJ rubbed his cranium. "Brain-storms - you know I hate 'em!" He raised his arms. "Why don't I just juice Lydia back into the submarine!" He bent over the hole. "Don't you worry, Babes! I'll have ya outta there in two seconds."

Back in the water, Lydia had just been grabbed again by the Kraken but this time was too tired to really fight back. With her fists she hammered the tentacle closed around her, but to no avail. It was easier to give up and catch her breath back, closing her eyes in repulsion as the creature draw her nearer to its open beak, inside of which its spiky radula waited to pierce its victim's skin and prepare her for digestion. The Kraken was just about to paralyse her with its venomous saliva...when all of a sudden she vanished. It gave a ferocious roar at the realisation its dinner had been stolen from right before its very eyes.

At exactly the same moment, Lydia found she was standing on dry land, no longer held firmly by the Kraken's grip. She opened her eyes and there before her stood her dear friend Beetlejuice, wearing a swimming costume and diving gear.

"Lyds! You're soaked to the bone!"

He turned into a giant bone with a bucket of water tipping over it. Lydia tried to laugh, but could only make a "Mmmmn! Mmmmn!" sound until she removed her mouthpiece and was able to chuckle to her heart's content. Beej turned back into his usual self, stripy suit and all, and the laughing pair embraced each other affectionately.

"Yeeeuch! You're getting water on my suit!" said Beej, pulling away, but keeping hold of her hands, "Gosh, Lyds! Your hands are like blocks of ice."

He turned into a pile of ice chunks.

"It was FREEZING in that water!" Lydia explained, wrapping her hands around her upper body and gently shivering, "I couldn't have stayed in there a second longer. It looks like you really saved my bacon, Beetlejuice."

BJ turned into his superhero persona Mega Super Beetle-Man, clutching a slice of bacon with a label that said, "Lydia Deetz" hanging off it, which made her laugh heartily.

"By the way, why were you wearing a swimsuit a moment ago?" She placed her hands on her hips, a slight smirk on her face. "Is there something you're not telling me?"

"Oh...er...don't ya need a blanket or somethin'?" asked Beej, changing the subject, "I wouldn't want ya to catch cold."

He juiced her a snuggly purple throw.

 _"Beetlejuice_..." said Lydia knowingly.

"Hey! Watch the B-words, Babes!"

"Were you trying to go after me?"

"I...er..." BJ scratched the back of his neck.

"Into the water?"

"Uh huh."

"You're a true friend, Beej. Only someone who cared about me would - AAAARRRGH!"

Without warning, the submarine started moving sideways, but clearly not as a result of the engines kicking in. Beetlejuice and Lydia were knocked right off their feet as the vessel tilted to an awkward angle, both crashing into the wall. BJ turned to look through one of the portholes and his hair stood on end - quite literally.

" _The Kraken's got us!_ " He clapped both his hands over his head.

At the same time, Lydia made an attempt to jump for the controls, but the monster shook them even more and she tumbled head over heels, landing in a heap on the floor.

"We've got to get out of here!" she cried.

A mischievous grin crept upon Beetlejuice's face. He cast up his hands. "Iiiiiiit's...SHOWTIME!"

He flew over to the controls in a flash.

"I'm really gonna juice this guy!" he said, pulling a lever.

Out of the side of the vessel appeared a large hammer which comically pounded the Kraken's head. The creature was knocked unconscious, fish circulating its head in place of the usual stars or birds.

"Let's get outta here!" cried BJ, turning the steering wheel.

With the adversary out cold, the submarine easily burst free of its tentacle-shaped bonds and hurtled through the darkened water at top speed, heading for the daylight zone.


	6. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

Not long later, the door to Beetlejuice's roadhouse opened and in trudged a weary Lydia, still dripping wet. Jacques cursed when he saw the state of her, getting up off the sofa.

"What 'appened to moi, ma chère?" he asked, evidently concerned, as BJ followed behind her.

"It's a long story," Lyds explained, her voice a little raspy, "A long story involving a fight with a Kraken."

Jacques, Ginger and The Monster Across The Street gasped almost simultaneously.

"You poor thing!" sympathised Ginger, "Why don'tcha sit on the couch and have a nice mug of hot chocolate?"

"That might be nice." Lydia dragged along to the settee, sitting herself down.

"Jaq, my old pal!" cried Beetlejuice all of a sudden, grabbing onto the t-shirt of his skeleton friend, "You wouldn't believe where I've just been - in a submarine surrounded by WATER!"

"Zat ees where you are supposed to 'ave a submarine, Be-attlejuice," responded Jacques, "By ze way, 'ow did you end up zere? I zought zat you avoided ze water at any cost!"

"You were doing me a favour, weren't you Beej?" said Lydia with a wink, "I wanted to test out my new underwater camera I got for my birthday..." She slid it out from under her blanket and her friends gasped in admiration. "...and I thought that the best place to do it was the Neitherworld. Of course, I wasn't counting on a Kraken to show up. I might have got some pictures of it too!"

BJ sniggered. "I wonder what your Mom and ol' Chucky will make of them!" He magicked his face into that of Delia's and said in her voice, "Oooooh, how stunningly creative!"

Lydia laughed. "I can only imagine."

"D'you what, Babes? If you're so keen on fishy photography, maybe next time we could go to the MIDNIGHT ZONE!"

"The Midnight Zone?" repeated Lydia warily.

"We could meet a spookfish..." He turned into a fish wearing a bedsheet ghost costume. Another fish appeared, to which he yelled, "BOO!" and made it shriek. "Or a horseshoe crab." He became a crab with a horseshoe instead of a shell. "Or a hatchet fish!" He juiced himself into an axe with fins and bulbous eyes.

"I don't think so, Beetlejuice," replied Lydia in amusement, "I'll just stick to the land of the living from now on." She paused. "Also, I've thought of a way I could make up to you not being able to come to my birthday dinner..."

...

A month later, the Deetz family were on their summer vacation at the beach. Whilst children splashed in the roaring waves, teenagers played volleyball and women lay upon towels under the baking hot sun, Delia was sat under a green and orange striped parasol reading a novel, wearing a strapless swimsuit and sunglasses, both leafy green, and a wide-brimmed yellow sunhat. Charles was wearing a pair of dark brown trunks and lying on a beach towel beside her, trying to get a decent suntan. A short distance away from them, Lydia - clad her new wetsuit - was making sandcastles, though for some reason, despite the fact she was using a traditional pail, all her sculptures were castle-shaped. (Cartoon logic - ya know I love it!)

She'd just finished adding another (bucket-shaped) level onto her biggest castle when suddenly the normally purple pail had black and white stripes and a face with green teeth. She didn't notice and set it down beside the castle, continuing to dig a moat around it with her navy blue spade.

"Looks like you really _dig_ beaches, Lyds!" said the bucket all of a sudden, "If ya know what I mean... _snort_!"

"Ha ha, good one Beej," replied Lydia, "I'm glad you could make it."

"It was no trouble, Babes!" responded BJ, "I'm 'shore' glad to be with you! _Snort!_ "

"Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice!" cried Lydia.

The face on the bucket vanished in an instant. Beside the young goth girl appeared her poltergeist friend, wearing a pair of black and white striped trunks, as well as water wings, a rubber ring, flippers, a mask and snorkel.

Lydia laughed when she saw him. "It looks like you're all geared up for the beach, Beetlejuice!"

BJ removed the snorkel from his mouth and giggled. "What do ya wanna do first, Lyds?"

"We could build some more sand castles," she suggested, "Or maybe it's time for our picnic lunch. I'll go ask my Mom."

BJ juiced away his inflatables and diving gear, giving himself a pair of shades in replacement, and they walked over to the reclining Deetzes. Delia was the first to notice the newcomer.

"Ooh! Mr Beetleman!" she cooed, lowering her novel, "I didn't expect to see you here."

"I thought I could do with catching some rays," replied Beetlejuice. Suddenly, he was holding a kids' fishing net, desperately swiping it around to capture a shoal of stingrays that had inexplicably appeared in the air around him. Lydia worried that her mother would be shocked, but Delia just clapped and squealed.

"My, my, you are talented! Have you ever considered becoming a magician?"

Beej was going to answer but Lydia interrpted with, "Beetle-I mean, Mr Beetleman has been doing magic for a long time actually."

"You must invite me to one of your shows one day!" continued Delia, "I'm sure Charles would love to watch a magic show! _Chaaarles_!"

Her suntanned husband sat up unenthusiastically. "What is it, Delia?" he half-groaned.

"Mr Beetleman was telling me he does magic shows! Isn't that right?" She turned to BJ.

"Um...er..." he stuttered, "How about we have a game of volleyball!" He nodded quickly and grinned.

"OOH! What a fabulous idea! _Charles_...why don't you join in too?"

"I'm fine where I am, thank you," responded her spouse.

"Now, now Charles. It could help you to _lose some pounds_..."

Charles groaned.

Lydia picked up the beach ball. "It's okay, Father. Mr Beetleman and I will go play on our own." She tossed the ball to Beej and scooped up her snorkelling equipment, alongside her camera. Before BJ had a chance to protest, she grabbed his arm and dashed toward the beach's volleyball net.

"WHOA!" cried Beej, being wrenched right off his feet.

Once at the net, they played for a while with some of the children, each on opposite sides. At one point Beetlejuice was thrown the ball and secretly put a spell on it, giggling under his breath, before chucking it back over. Lydia and her team dived to catch it, but the ball zoomed right over their heads and ended up landing on an unsuspecting sunbather, who shrieked in surprise.

BJ chuckled and Lydia placed her hands on her hips, frowning teasingly at him. "Beetlejuice! You cheated."

"Cheated? Nah!" defended Beej, raising his arms in a W-shape, "The ball just flew out of my hands! What could I do?"

"Oh sure..." responded Lydia, picking up her snorkelling gear. She started heading for the sea.

"Hey! Where you going, Lyds?" asked BJ, scrambling after her.

"If you're not going to play fair, I'll just go test out my diving gear." She strapped on her mask and made her way into the water, before letting out a large sigh. "It's still a shame I don't have anyone to go snorkelling with me."

Suddenly she realised there was someone standing beside her. She turned to see who it was and nearly gasped in shock. "Beetlejuice?!" Sure enough, her poltergeist friend was knee-deep in the waves. "But...I thought you hated water!"

Beej scratched the back of his neck. "I was...uh...gonna take a mud bath this afternoon. I don't mind being clean until then if it's for you, Babes!"

"You know what? For a horrible, gross guy you have a pretty big heart sometimes."

BJ's heart-shaped heart popped through his chest and started expanding rapidly, which made them both laugh.

Once his heart had sunk back into its original location, Beej called out, "Last one to the platoon's a rotten egg!"

He dashed off deeper into the water, closely followed by Lydia. "Knowing you, one of us really will become a rotten egg!"

The water was now higher than their waists so they began to swim.

Lydia managed to get lots of pictures that afternoon, but hardly any of under the water. Rather, she took snapshots of BJ playing in the water with her; making a wig out of seaweed, wearing her snorkelling gear, jumping off the pontoon and eventually sitting back on the beach, snuggled up in a black and white striped towel.

"Oh boy!" reflected Beetlejuice, "We had a whale of a time!" He turned into a small whale, right on cue, before juicing himself back into his regular form.

Lydia giggled. She was sat beside him, wrapped in a purple towel. "I can't believe a month ago you said you would never go swimming with me."

"Looks like I was 'all wet'!" he replied and the pair laughed even more.


End file.
